To Watch Trees Smoulder and Burn
by LittleTayy
Summary: Sometimes love isn't always enough and that's what both Emma and Regina are about to learn. Is their love strong enough to fight through their troubles or will it end in flames?
1. Chapter 1

**To Watch Trees Smoulder and Burn**

It's dark and quite in the house but that's something you are used to by now. It's late and Henry is asleep, as he should be and Emma is, well you don't know where Emma is. She told you she had things to do, that there was things she needed to take care of but you know she lied to you, she has been for weeks. You pretend like you don't know what she's really doing but it tugs and pulls at whatever's left of your heart because you're meant to be her _True Love_ but that's not how things work in this world.

You sit alone in the bed you share with the blonde Sheriff, wondering just who it is she's chosen tonight. You know for a fact she doesn't like going to one person too often because it makes her feel like she's having an affair when really she isn't. Instead she's just betraying you every night with someone new. You never breathe a word to her about it though because you want it to hurt more than it does; you want to feel that agonising heartbreak but it never comes because she's not _your _True Love.

So you let her have her little affairs, you let her run around town with Gods only know who because that's your curse. Even though Emma truly and honestly love's you, she will always resent you for what you did to her parent's, to her family.

You were never meant to have love, even your own son doesn't love you but you can accept that because you can never fully love someone in return. It's the way she treats you a fool that makes your blood boil and your anger sky-rocket at her. She thinks you do not know, that you are blind and deaf to what's going on but you're not.

You've always known, from the very beginning what was going on behind your back and you hope one day, one day soon one of you will have the courage to end whatever it is that's keeping you together. This relationship, if you can call it that anymore, is ripping at the seams and you have no idea how to fix; you're not sure you even want to. You know you'll try though because Henry is happier than he's ever been and you don't want to ruin that, you don't want to ruin the life he's got now.

You lay down, trying not to notice the cold expanse of bed beside you where your lover should be. You bring your hand up to clutch at the plain gold ring you now wear on a chain around your neck. You hold it tightly as tears brim in your eyes, thinking of the love you've lost and the love of someone that doesn't want to love you back.

You lay for wait feels like hours, silent tears staining your cheeks as your bed stays empty beside you. You hate this part, you hate how it makes you feel but most of all you hate how she creeps in here, acting like you don't know. It makes you almost physically sick when she climbs in to bed, trying to kiss your cheek goodnight, still smelling of her lover of the night. You don't understand how Emma can be so stupid as not to realise that you know, that you've always known.

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_AN: I don't even know how I thought of this. Anyway, it's angsty and sad so be warned now, it probably won't get happier. _

_If you enjoyed, please review! :) LT._


	2. Chapter 2

**To Watch Trees Smoulder and Burn**

You sigh as you hang up the phone to her telling her you're working late. You hate yourself for what you're doing because despite the resentment and the anger you feel for her you 'do' lover her. She is your True Love, the only one that's ever made you think your heart will beat out of your chest.

That hardly means a thing though when you think back to what she's done, what she's cost you. You know the truth, you know she's the evil queen and you've come to accept that but there are times when that knowledge threatens to tear you apart. Its how this whole sordid thing started; you wanting to forget what you knew and you wanting to hurt her.

Standing you grab your jacket and head out of the station. You head for the only bar in town, Kings Corner, the one place you know your secret will be safe. What happens in Kings usually stays in Kings and for that you're most grateful. You don't even want to imagine what would happen if words of your indiscretions were to get back to Regina but you know it'd be bad.

There are a multitude of things you can imagine happening, the least of which is Regina burying you under her beloved apple tree. Thinking about it though, you realise her apple tree is too precious and she'd more than likely just dump your body in the middle of the woods where no one could find it.

You shake your head as you signal for a drink, trying to dispel the suddenly morbid thoughts you seem to be having. It's something you know you've picked up from Regina, her own thoughts and humour anything but light hearted and nice. She's managed to change you and not in ways you're entirely happy with.

You down your drink quickly wincing as it burns your throat on the way down. You signal for another and sip at it slowly as you look around the bar. There are not many people in the bar but then you have to remind yourself, it _is _the middle of the week. It takes you a second to see her but eventually you notice the redhead at the end of the bar.

Downing your drink you stand from the bar and make your way towards her. You picked her tonight because she is so physically different to Regina and you want to prove you don't have a type. You sit beside her for a while and are mildly surprised when she is receptive of your advances. You flirt and drink for another half an hour before suggesting not so subtlety that you both get of here.

She pauses for a moment asking, "Aren't you the Mayor's girlfriend?"

"So?" You say, gently rubbing her hand, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her," you tell her and she thinks it over for a second before accepting your answer.

You lead her discreetly out of the bar and push her against the back of the bar, pressing her into the rough brick of the building. You kiss her roughly, hands travelling her curves and trying desperately not to compare her to Regina. She kisses back and you can taste the rum on her tongue and it intoxicates you how different she tastes to Regina and makes you press her harder against the wall. Her hand moves down your body towards your jeans and before you know it you're fucking each other hard, not caring that anyone could come out and see you.

The redhead climaxes with a stifled moan and you follow not long after. The two of you still for a moment, catching your breath before you pull away from her, wiping your sticky fingers on her thighs that are concealed just under her short dress. She licks her own fingers dry watching you saucily as she does and you can't help but smirk at her before pecking her on the lips lightly and walking out of the alleyway.

You head for your car and as the euphoria of your orgasm dissipates the guilt spreads through you with a burning viciousness. You slump into the driver's seat as tears well in your eyes and your hands clench into fists. You've done it again, you've cheated on Regina once more and it kills you that you do it because you do love her, more than you've ever loved anyone.

Yet you have this destructive need to hurt her at the same time and you don't know how to deal with it. She's the _Evil Queen_, she cursed you're family to be forever apart and yet you love her so deeply it's frightening. You haven't forgiven her exactly but she's told you everything and you think you'd probably do the exact same thing now if Regina was taken from you like Daniel was taken from her.

Your heart aches and tears when you think of Daniel, Regina's long lost beloved, the man who'd always have Regina's heart. They were true loves and that alone makes you want to hurt Regina because while you love her with every fibre of your being she'll never love you back the way you want her to. You hit at the steering wheel a few times; anger, frustration and guilt building up in you making you want to tear something apart.

A few deep breaths later and you start the engine and start on your way home. All you can think about is the right mess you've made of your life and wonder how you can fix it. Running seems like a good idea at this moment but you know you couldn't live without Henry or Regina now. They've become so entrenched in your life it's hard to imagine anything else anymore and that thought alone makes you even angrier.

You used to be so independent, never relying on anyone and now, you're whole life revolves around two people, one you hate almost as much as you love. You arrive at the Mayor's house, _your _house faster than you expected so you sit in your car for a few moments, trying to compose yourself. When you finally feel like you are calm again, like you aren't going to explode with an excess of emotions you get out of the car and silently make your way in to the house.

You check on Henry first, something that's become quite a routine and then head for your shared bedroom with Regina. You open the door and stop for a moment, just looking as Regina sleeps peacefully on her back, hand curled around the simple gold band that hangs from her neck from a chain. Even in sleep it's important to her and your heart squeezes painfully at the sight before you shake it off and move further into the room, stripping off your clothes. A shower seems like a good idea but you're ridiculously tired at the moment so instead you quickly change into your pyjamas and slip in to bed beside her.

You don't even think about the fact that you still smell of the redhead and liquor and to be honest, you couldn't care less at the moment. You lean across the bed and got to press a kiss to your girlfriend's cheek but even in sleep she's resistant to such affection and turns on her side, stopping you before your lips make contact. You sigh as you fall back onto your back, willing yourself to go to sleep before the tears in your eyes can fall.

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_AN: So this chapter is significantly longer than the last, so I hope you like it. Also, in case you didn't realise, this was from Emma's point of view. _

_Hope you enjoyed and please review! :) LT._


	3. Chapter 3

**To Watch Trees Smoulder and Burn**

You wake up to shafts of sunlight streaming in to your room, heating up your skin. Yawning you turn over in bed to see if your lover is still asleep beside you. You're surprised to find she isn't because she's a late sleeper, something that annoys you greatly but then you hear the shower running and you know what she's doing. She's in there, washing away the sins of the night, scrubbing herself clean of the deed.

You take a deep breath to calm the swell of anger that bubbles up inside you as you sit up and get out of your bed. You pull on your dressing gown as you leave your room; you wake Henry up and then make your way downstairs to start the coffee. Its ten minutes before Henry appears downstairs, ready for breakfast and as he sits to eat his cereal Emma finally stumbles downstairs.

You are leaning against the sink looking out the window when you feel her stop behind you, her hands dropping to your waist as she leans in and pecks you on the cheek. You stiffen under her lips but she doesn't seem to notice and if she does she's ignored it, just like she's ignored most everything else happening around her. Anger again bubbles up in you at the thought that she can be so oblivious, that she can truly not see that you know or that she's painfully obvious of her misdeeds.

"Morning babe," Emma says chirpily and for a moment all you want to do is hit her. It's irrational but you can't help being angry at how well she can act as if nothing is wrong. She acts as if you two are a perfect and happy couple but your not, you have never been a perfect couple, you know that and she knows that. You wonder how long she'll keep fooling herself into believing you are both happy when she is out sleeping with someone else every chance she gets. Surely she knows no happy person repeatedly cheats on their supposed _true love_.

Placing your almost empty coffee cup in the sink you pull away from her embrace as you speak, "Good morning," you say your tone distant.

You quickly walk out of the kitchen, heading upstairs towards your bedroom before Emma can ask what's wrong. You shower and dress quickly, putting your make-up on effortlessly. You are in one of your favourite dresses, a deep red dress that stops an inch or two above your knees and accentuates your body spectacularly. You haven't worn it in a long time, not since Emma's been in Storybrooke you are sure and you are wearing it now because you need to make yourself feel beautiful.

There are times when you look in a mirror and all you see is something ugly and disgusting, tainted with the blood of victims. There are also times when you feel inadequate, where you feel like you are nothing and can't please anyone. It's a horrible product of your upbringing, of the ever constant barrage of insults from your mother and it's a mentality you've never been able to shake. You hate when you feel like this because it always leads you to do something destructive, something that only ever hurts you more than anyone else.

Right now is one of those times and with everything that's going on in your relationship with Emma, it's only making it worse. She claims you are her true love and you want so desperately to believe that because you need that devotion but she strays constantly and in your mind it must mean there's something wrong with you. There's always been something wrong with you, something not quite right and off that made it almost impossible for anyone to love you but you love, you love with a fierceness never shown towards you. It's your own personal curse and it always has been but the dark curse amplified it by thousands because even your own son and lover couldn't love you right.

You try to shake the horrid thoughts from your head as you make your way downstairs but you know they'll linger for days to come anyway. You stop in the foyer, calling out to Henry to hurry up so you can drop him off to school like you do every morning. The young boy appears in the foyer and tells you that Emma is going to drop him off at school instead and you try not to show how your face falls at his words. Instead you smile tightly at him, wishing him a good day at school and making your way to your car alone.

You arrive at work early and work steadily through the morning even as your mind wanders to dark places it probably shouldn't. It's around 11:30 that you drop your pen down on your desk and let your head fall into your hands. Tears of frustration and anger well in your eyes but won't ever let them fall, not even behind closed doors. An idea quickly forms in your mind and you stand abruptly, grabbing your coat and bag as you head out of your office. You stop and tell your secretary that you don't know how long you'll be and tell her to clear your schedule for the rest of the day.

You drive to the outskirts of town, heading to the big mansion on the hill that you've never actually stepped foot in. You are nervous and silently wonder how this particular encounter will go down. He's probably still angry with you and you can't really blame him but you kept your promise, Grace has a good life and you think he should be grateful for that at least.

Pulling up outside his house you take a deep breath before getting out of your car and heading up the steps that lead to his car. He must have seen you pull up because you only have to knock once before he pulls the door open roughly, glaring at you through slightly insane eyes. You smile at him softly for a moment as he continues to glare; he is waiting for you to speak, to ask to be let inside because he won't offer otherwise.

"Jefferson," you say softly, not your usual tone but you've known him too long to fake with him, "May I please come in?" You ask, gesturing behind him slightly with your hand.

"Why should I let you?" he asks gruffly and you can hear the anger in his voice.

"Because I want to talk," you say and he relents with an eye roll but you're not surprised because he's never really been able to deny you. There's only ever been one time he's said no to you but you'd managed to manipulate him into doing your bidding anyway. That manipulation had cost him his daughter and that is something you deeply regret because no matter what had happened, Jefferson really had been a friend once.

You walk passed him into the house, lightly brushing his shoulder with your hand as you did so. He closes the door behind you both and leads you in to a little sitting room off of the foyer. Looking around you notice the old sets of china teacups scattered around the room and avert your eyes to the floor. You don't look at him for a moment because you feel guilty for the obsessive need he has to keep reminders of Grace around his house. Pushing the guilt away you finally look up at him and see he is watching you curiously, his anger upon first seeing you has obviously subsided.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest defensively as he leaned against the wall next to the door.

You smile at him as you speak, "I want your help."

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_AN: Thank you for all the lovely reviews. __I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review! :) LT._


	4. Chapter 4

**To Watch Trees Smoulder and Burn**

When you wake up it's just passed dawn, the early morning rays filtering in to the bedroom. Regina is still soundly asleep beside you and you want nothing more than to reach out to her and pull her close. You don't though because the more alert you become you realise you still smell liquor and most likely sex.

Getting out of bed as quietly as you can you tip toe your way to the wardrobe and grab a pair if jeans and t-shirt as usual. You grab clean underwear too as you make your way to the bathroom, hoping to shower before Regina wakes up. You close the door behind you gently and drop your clothes on the little stone vanity Regina has in her bathroom.

Turning on the shower you strip out of your pyjamas and wait for the water to heat up perfectly for you. It doesn't take long and once you've stepped under the hot spray, you begin to wash away your sins. You close your eyes as you scrub away at your skin, hoping to clean away the lingering smell of sex and alcohol.

You're in there longer than you expect and when you're convinced you are completely clean you step out of the shower. You dress quickly, hoping to get downstairs and start the coffee before Regina wakes up. You know lately that Regina's been getting fed up with your late nights and overall lack of presence within their family. You need to make it up to Regina, and Henry whose smile at you isn't the same anymore.

Unfortunately for you however as you bound downstairs you can already hear both Henry and Regina bustling around. You head straight for the kitchen knowing that's where Regina will be. You see her standing, coffee cup in hand, glaring intensely out the kitchen window and in hopes of starting the morning off happily you bound to her.

Dropping your hands to her waist you lean in and peck her cheek before talking, "Morning babe," you say chirpily.

She freezes for a moment and then speaks, "Morning," she says as she places her coffee cup in the sink and pulls away from you. She heads out of the kitchen with not so much as a backwards glance to you and you get a niggling feeling in your stomach. You stare after her for moment trying to decipher her mood for the morning. Some thing is not right and you worry for a moment that she knows what you did but there is no way she could have; is there?

Either way you grab a piece of toast, make a coffee and try to act like everything is normal even though you can feel it is not. Henry pops in to the kitchen, dropping his bowl into the sink and you can't help the words that fall out of your mouth.

"Do you want me to drop you off to school today kid?" you ask and despite knowing that, that is Regina's job you hope he says yes because you do want to spend time with him.

"Sure," he says without his usual enthusiasm. It worries you that he's started to show such indifference towards you now, whereas before he'd always been overly excited to see you let alone spend time with you. It squeezes you heart to know that you are mostly likely the cause of his indifference, that the simple fact of you hardly ever being home makes him feel this way.

By the time you finish your coffee Henry is ready for school and as you head out to your car you realise you haven't seen Regina all morning. You ask the kid where his other mother went off too and much to your dismay he tells you she left more than 15 minutes earlier. Regina hadn't even bothered to say goodbye to you and it leaves you with a bad feeling in your stomach.

You drop Henry off to school without any fuss and spend most of the day patrolling or doing paperwork and trying to take your mind off Regina's unusual behaviour this morning. You decide it's best if you go home early this afternoon and try to make up for all the lost time with your family. At three you leave the station and head off to pick Henry up from school, hoping you can spend some quality time with your son cooking a special dinner for Regina.

At half passed six Regina finally gets home and you can't wait for her to see the dinner you've made. It isn't anything especially fancy, just spaghetti and meatballs but your cooking experience is limited to such simplistic foods. Henry is upstairs doing homework when you go to greet her by the door, hoping she'll relax for the night and let you lead.

"Hey babe, how was work?" you ask cheerily as she walks through the door.

"It was fine," she replies as she goes to hang her coat on the coat rack.

"I made dinner," you tell her, not liking the way she stiffens and frowns at your words.

"I uh…ate already," she tells you and you know immediately it's a lie. "Where's Henry?" she asks and you can tell she's trying to change the subject.

"He's upstairs doing his homework."

"Good," she says, heading towards her home office, "I've got some work to finish off, you and Henry can eat without me Miss Swan."

You flinch unexpectedly as she calls you Miss Swan. She hasn't called you that since you both professed your love for one another. She seems not even to have noticed the slip and you try not to stare at her in horror. Something is wrong, you know it for certain now because not even when you two have your most vicious fights has she called you Miss Swan (except in teasing) while you were together.

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_AN: Finally, here is chapter 4. It's a bit of a filler chapter and I'm sorry for that. It's also hard for me to write in Emma's POV most of the time, so this took a lot of work. Worry not though, I know my endgame and I know where I want this story to go, it's just getting there that seems to be hard. _

___Also, if anyone reads my other fic, Control, I re-wrote the 6th chapter so head on over there and check it out maybe. :)_

_Hopefully in the next chapter things will start to pick up with the storyline. I hope you enjoyed and please review! :) LT._


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